My Life of What Ifs

Monday, May 17, 2010

Music Memory Monday

The saga continues.  The neglected blog trudges forward.  More soul baring ensues.  Yeah, whatever.

Time's Makin' Changes - The Best of Tesla

I have always been someone who really listens to the lyrics in a song. When I was younger, and before the beauty of the Internet, I spent endless hours with my tape player and a notebook writing down the lyrics to special songs line by line.

In early 1992 my first boyfriend and I broke up. During our two years together I had made him the customary mix tapes usually complete with lyrics, or at the very least meaningful lines from each song. I know he appreciated the sentiment, but still he never returned the gesture. Until we broke up.

I was living alone and dating here and there. He would come home from college, drink too much with his buddies and show up on my doorstep. One night he showed up with the cassette single of Tesla's What You Give and he had written down the lyrics, line by line, complete with interpretation.

He basically said I was ungrateful for breaking up with him, and that if I had invested more into our relationship like he had, we would still be together. He said that the lyrics in the song should tell me how he felt and what he was going through. It was ironic that I had wished he would return the sentiment I had given him many times, only to have him do in anger, not love. At least it wasn't in love from where I was standing.

Luckily, it's a rare occasion to stumble upon a Tesla song on the radio. But our local "shuffle" station has played it and I catch myself feeling that utter disbelief at being called ungrateful all over again.

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