My Life of What Ifs

Monday, September 20, 2010

Music Memory Monday

A nice memory for one week before our wedding anniversary.

Not Enough Time

Welcome to Wherever You AreIn the Fall of 1992 I transferred from the community college in my hometown to Central Michigan University.

It was a rough time for me. I was homesick. I was in a new town, with roommates I didn't know, I transferred jobs, and my boyfriend of 6 months was at home.

I hadn't planned on "taking" a boyfriend to school with me.  In fact I broke up with my boyfriend of two years earlier that year for just that reason. Well, that and things weren't going so well. But a month after the breakup I started dating a guy I worked with.  He was funny, a smart-ass, and he had great dimples.  It wasn't supposed to go anywhere.  He was just supposed to be someone to hang out with, but after a few months of casually dating it dawned on us both that there was more going on than we had planned.

I worked at a local retail chain and had transferred to the store in Mt. Pleasant when the school year started.  Despite my seniority I was working every weekend and couldn't make it home much.  The boyfriend had some weekends off and would come see me when he could.  Before I left I created the customary mix tape for him to play and think of me.  It was filled with songs we had enjoyed during our few months together, and being who I am I also left him some typed out lyrics of a few of the more meaningful songs.

About six weeks into the semester I wasn't doing so well.  I missed him so much and I was doing poorly in school.  I hated working and was pretty much in a funk all the time.  My boyfriend made plans to come up for a Sunday and spend the day with me.  We hung out, went to dinner, and as night fell it was time for him to drive the 105 miles back home.  Just before he left he handed me a letter size envelope.  It was thick and obviously had something hard inside.  He told me I couldn't open it until I returned to my dorm room.

When I got back to my room I tore it open to find a cassette single of INXS' Not Enough Time and he had written out the lyrics on notebook paper.  I dissolved into tears as I read the lyrics Not enough time for all that I want for you, not enough time for every kiss, not enough time for all my love, not enough time for every touch.

I called his house immediately and left a message so he would call me back when he got home.  It was truly the most romantic thing he had ever done and it was torture to have to wait to talk to him.  It's funny how important this moment is in my life and yet when it came time to pick out our wedding song, it never occurred to me to use this.  Sometimes I think that no matter how perfect it would have been, I just didn't want to share the story. It's something that I needed to keep protected, until now.

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