Music Memory Monday

 I'm running low on Music Memories.  I guess it's time to open up the ole' brain and write some more.

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Oh what a night

Of all the songs that stand out from our wedding reception this one takes the top prize. Don't ask me why, it wasn't our first dance, it wasn't our wedding party song, hell I don't even know if anyone requested it, but as anyone can tell you there isn't much time for the bride and groom to dance at their wedding but I danced when this song came on.

I vividly remember hearing it start. It was fairly popular on the bar scene, in this remixed version of course, and the minute it started I knew I needed to dance. I can still see the DJ's lights flashing on the floor and there I was swinging my gown around and changing the words to fit my own scenario. Late September back in '97. Oh what a night.

It summed up the night perfectly and I can honestly say I still get goose bumps every time I hear it.

What a very special time for me, 'cause I remember what a night.

Redemption keep my covers clean

Redemption keep my covers clean, originally uploaded by 6.5st.

I have fallen for the song Only The Young by Brandon Flowers.

One of my favorite lines is Redemption keep my covers clean, tonight. So, while googling it, as I am apt to do with things I fall for, I found this photo on Flickr.

The pic is amazing and there right below are the lyrics to one of my current faves. How fun.  For me.

Music Memory Monday

In hindsight, there were better choices.  If you travel back through my Music Memory Mondays you will find that a much more awesome choice was in the memory banks the whole time.

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The one I didn't get sick of

I have never claimed to be the most deep of music lovers, but when the lyrics of a song tell a story I can relate to, the song usually becomes a life long favorite.

So, it would go without saying that any song I would choose for the first-dance at my wedding would have to be perfect, and long before I was even engaged I was on the hunt for that story-in-a-song.  I think the search actually began when I was in my teens when I started writing down lyrics in notebooks.

When I finally became engaged and our date had been set, it became my mission to find "The Song".  I went through a few drafts, if you will, each time becoming obsessed with my choice.  I  played them incessantly, imagining the moment in excruciating detail until I couldn't stand to hear the song one more time.  Back to the drawing board.

Kenny Chesney's Me and You, Tim McGraw &  Faith Hill singing It's your love, all fine on the surface but they just didn't feel right.

Then one summer night about three months before our wedding I was looking through my collection of mix tapes when I found the golden nugget.  The lyrics were perfect.  As far as I could tell it wasn't overused, and (major plus) it didn't make my fiance' want to vomit.

When I'm feeling blue, all I have to do, is take a look at you...

Wouldn't you agree, baby you and me, got a groovy kind of love...

Sure there are times when the cheese factor of Phil Collins rears it's ugly head, but I still get goosebumps when I hear "our song".  Looking back there were other choices that may have been better, but things happen for a reason and all it takes are a few key strokes on a piano to take me to one of the best days of my life.

Music Memory Monday

OK, before anyone gets their panties in a bunch- this happened a long time ago.  Before I was legally wed, and during a time in which the man I was dating, whom I later married, was back home having some fun of his own.  We are adults, and this memory takes place in 1996.  And no, I do not feel guilty or have any regrets :)

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 Oh I really should have known...

In January 1996 I began my last semester at college. I had decided over Christmas break that I was going to immerse myself in the college experience this last semester and not travel home to work as much. This put a new strain on an already weak relationship with my boyfriend of four years.

The previous semester I had developed a crush on a fellow student. He was broadcast major like me and we were involved in the same student activities. He was a couple of years younger, he had a long term girlfriend, and he was a smart ass. Simply, he was a challenge and I was up for it. We shared a flirtation but if someone else was around he was rude, but that worked for me. When we were one-on-one, which was usually a result of me going out of my way to be somewhere he was, then he was different.

We worked together at our college TV station. This meant we were together quite a bit filming segments, many of which involved taping a band at a bar, and then we had long hours in the edit bay putting the show together. It was during this time that I first heard Jann Arden's song "Insensitive".

I was drawn to this song at first by just one line. How do you teach your heart it's a crime to fall in love again? I had a boyfriend, one that I was technically still attached to, and one that I honestly still loved very much. So what was I doing?

One night after taping another band, in another bar, and after having way too much to drink, the crush and I, well... we had some fun.  It was intense and crazy, but the moment it was over, it was over. Oh I really should have known, by the time you drove me home...  After that night it was different. We had gone too far, and he could now be described as nothing but "insensitive". By the vagueness in your eyes, casual goodbyes... 

As the female counterpart I was not capable of being that way. I fell too fast, I feel too much...  I probably wasn't the first or the last.  I'm one of the chosen few, who went ahead and fell for you... and I often wonder if he even remembers me. We finished out the semester and, hung out as friends in our group. I married my boyfriend, he married his girlfriend, and the rest is history. But anytime I hear this song I completely lose myself in every detail of that time in my life. I thought that you might have some advice to give, on how to be, insensitive...

Music Memory Monday

Probably not my juiciest Music Memory, but it's still an important one :)

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Over The Edge

My last semester at college I created and co-produced a TV show called Over the Edge for our college TV station. It was a segmented show where we would try to cover some campus news, nightlife, and any other oddity that someone suggested.

One of our biggest challenges as we put the first show together was "What should our theme song be?" In 1996, TV shows still had opening credits and I wanted Over the Edge to have the perfect theme song. We had considered a number of options before my co-producer put something together using But Anyway by Blues Traveler. I liked Blues Traveler, but I was more of a mainstream Blues Traveler fan. Everyone liked them when Hook came out, but this was a song off of an earlier album. The minute I heard it I knew it was the right song, even the lyrics seemed appropriate for a college TV show.

Now, whenever I hear the harmonica at the beginning of But Anyway I think of Over The Edge. The funny part is that clearing music for advertising is an integral part of what I do everyday. I had no idea how illegal using that song, and all songs, without permission was at that time. I guess we're just lucky that Blues Traveler never came after us for royalty payments.  Meh, but anyway...

Music Memory Monday

It's seems I have two fans of my Music Memory Monday stories, so I dedicate this one to them ;)

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Closure

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Well...I...heard there was a party and we thought we'd come out and see everyone."

"Where's your boyfriend?"

"He's out of town this weekend, I came out with T and J."

"It's been awhile."

"Yeah"

We had broken up about a year and a half earlier after two years together.

Our break-up was long, and dramatic. I had basically ended it with him to be with my current boyfriend, but he was my first, in so many ways.

It was odd to see him again, even though I had been drinking and looked forward to running in to him here where he lived with a few other guys from "the group". The group I had also belonged to until I did the unthinkable and let him go. My current boyfriend had gone out of town with some friends and this was my payback to him. I was young, and yeah- immature, but so were many others at that age.

We had started the evening around the bonfire. It was a familiar site. Open field, bonfire, lots of drinking. He invited me inside to warm up and with glaring eyes from my friends I accepted the offer. We sat on his bedroom floor and talked, really talked. The animosity he had towards me after our breakup was gone, he had moved on now. But we both needed to say some things. He pulled a shoebox out of his closet with our two years wrapped up inside. Half used candles, cards, my senior picture, why he had kept these things I don't know. I had a similar box but wasn't that a girl thing to do?

"I was saving you know," he said.

"Saving for what?"

"The football bank was for you, every penny I put in there was for your Marquis."

He remembered what kind of ring I wanted, wow.

"Yeah, but we just weren't meant to be." I said.

"I know, but I wanted you to know that I was serious at the time."

We chatted a lot longer. Saying all the things we had wanted to say, I guess. He said he wasn't giving my senior picture back even though he admitted if his girlfriend found it she would throw it out. There were some moments where kissing him would have been so easy, so familiar, but the alcohol was wearing off and I knew it would open a door that was better left closed.

"Have you seen 'Pure Country'?" he asked me.

"That George Strait movie?"

His family owned a horse farm and they were as country as you could get in Michigan. I hadn't seen the movie.

"No, I haven't. Is it good?"

"Borrow mine. I think you'll like it."

"But how will I get it back to you? I have no idea when I'll see you again."

"You'll get it to me someday, but hey, pay attention to the song called 'Where the Sidewalk Ends'."

"OK, why?"

"'Cuz it's about us"

Music Memory Monday

A nice memory for one week before our wedding anniversary.

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Not Enough Time

In the Fall of 1992 I transferred from the community college in my hometown to Central Michigan University.

It was a rough time for me. I was homesick. I was in a new town, with roommates I didn't know, I transferred jobs, and my boyfriend of 6 months was at home.

I hadn't planned on "taking" a boyfriend to school with me.  In fact I broke up with my boyfriend of two years earlier that year for just that reason. Well, that and things weren't going so well. But a month after the breakup I started dating a guy I worked with.  He was funny, a smart-ass, and he had great dimples.  It wasn't supposed to go anywhere.  He was just supposed to be someone to hang out with, but after a few months of casually dating it dawned on us both that there was more going on than we had planned.

I worked at a local retail chain and had transferred to the store in Mt. Pleasant when the school year started.  Despite my seniority I was working every weekend and couldn't make it home much.  The boyfriend had some weekends off and would come see me when he could.  Before I left I created the customary mix tape for him to play and think of me.  It was filled with songs we had enjoyed during our few months together, and being who I am I also left him some typed out lyrics of a few of the more meaningful songs.

About six weeks into the semester I wasn't doing so well.  I missed him so much and I was doing poorly in school.  I hated working and was pretty much in a funk all the time.  My boyfriend made plans to come up for a Sunday and spend the day with me.  We hung out, went to dinner, and as night fell it was time for him to drive the 105 miles back home.  Just before he left he handed me a letter size envelope.  It was thick and obviously had something hard inside.  He told me I couldn't open it until I returned to my dorm room.

When I got back to my room I tore it open to find a cassette single of INXS' Not Enough Time and he had written out the lyrics on notebook paper.  I dissolved into tears as I read the lyrics Not enough time for all that I want for you, not enough time for every kiss, not enough time for all my love, not enough time for every touch.

I called his house immediately and left a message so he would call me back when he got home.  It was truly the most romantic thing he had ever done and it was torture to have to wait to talk to him.  It's funny how important this moment is in my life and yet when it came time to pick out our wedding song, it never occurred to me to use this.  Sometimes I think that no matter how perfect it would have been, I just didn't want to share the story. It's something that I needed to keep protected, until now.

Music Memory Monday

A fine memory from Central Michigan University.  Fire up Chips!

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You've got to be kidding me

My first semester away at college I was unfortunate enough to have an 8 am class two days a week.  To add insult to injury it was a grammar class.  So on those days I would drag myself out of bed, make myself as presentable as possible and go grab something to eat before class.

As you can imagine the cafeteria population was sparse at that hour and I usually sat alone with a bowl of cereal.  I was never sure if the radio seemed loud because there were so few people in the room at that time or if they purposely cranked it up at that awful hour to keep themselves awake.

The radio was always tuned to the local Top 40 station in our college town, and as is the case with many Top 40 stations they play the Top 40 songs.  Over and over again.  At this time Please Don't Go by KWS was very popular and for a period of a few weeks it came on at the exact same time every morning.  At least every Tuesday and Thursday morning when I was eating my bowl of cereal.

At first I questioned my sanity.  Could this really be happening?  Am I imagining it?  But after hearing it for the 7th or 8th morning it became ridiculous, and I would catch myself saying out loud "you've got to be kidding me!"  I have to say I wasn't a fan of this song before this happened. It's very repetitive and impossible to get out of your head.  But after this, the song annoyed me even more.

My husband has all of the MTV party-to-go CDs and Please Don't Go is on one of them.  Every time I hear it I am instantly transported back to the Robinson dining hall, sitting alone with my bowl of frosted flakes.  Extremely annoyed.

The haunting drama

Is it wrong that I love this song?  Eminem's aggressive return to the airwaves with Love The Way You Lie (Feat. Rihanna), and Airplanes, Part II has caught my attention.  Maybe's it's my love of drama, maybe it's my love of a good story, I don't know.  But this video is pretty cool, in my opinion.

Quote of my Life

It is never too late to be what you might have been ~ George Eliot

Simple inspiration

It doesn't take much to inspire me.  I read the Post Secret website and see a secret that I could have written or one that feels like a secret message to me and I have to right click and save it for all of eternity.  Some I share here, and others I can't share because then you would wonder "what the hell is Stacy up to?"

I also find, as you probably are keenly aware, inspiration in words.  Quotes and lyrics are my thing and that is why I subscribe to the Real Simple Daily Thought Newsletter.

Yesterday I found this gem in my inbox...

“Anything I’ve ever done that ultimately was worthwhile...initially scared me to death.” - Betty Bender

and today this one...

“Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open.” - John Barrymore

I just love words.  Words that make me think.  Which is funny because my husband may tell you I think too much.  Maybe I rely on words too much to guide my path.  My path was clear for a bit and now it's fuzzy again. So do I look for more words or try to come up with my own?  It's hard to say, but I do know that words will always jump out at me, and that is a wonderful thing.

Happy New Year, I hope you've been well

Hi there.  It's been awhile.  I unknowingly, but then admittedly, took about six weeks off from blogging and chick lit examining.  I needed some time to focus, gather my thoughts, reconfigure my path and simply survive the holidays.  It hasn't been an easy time for me.  We have faced some major financial obstacles, and I have (surprise) questioned my very existence as well as the the choices I have made.  But along the way I found faith again and realized that everything is happening as it should.  That's why when I was browsing secrets on the Post Secret facebook page this one really spoke to me.

Clearly, my path has not been the one many would have taken, but that's ok because it's my path and no one elses.  Despite setbacks and overwhelming depression along the way I still remain proud of my path.

Now it's time for me to steer my path with a little more aggression.  I have had several amazing opportunities come my way lately and if I don't remove my head from my ass I am going to miss out on them.  Procrastination is a personal  tic I have, but I have to stop letting it affect my chances of moving forward in my work, and I have come close.  Sometimes I think it's an unconscious self-defense mechanism.  Self-sabotage if you will, and that has to stop.  I do deserve happiness and success, and simplicity.  I need to stop making things more complex than they need to be, that has been a bad habit of mine my whole life.

Simplicity is something I wished for in 2009 and I hope that in 2010 I come closer to it's discovery.  I have discovered that "things" are not necessary.  Actions are what count.  Awareness, living in the moment and time well spent are what make memories, not the number of presents under the tree, or the number of clearance bargains you discover (although sometimes a stocked clearance rack can make life more fun).  You can't take "things" with you, and sometimes those things just get in the way.

I know that a lot of people still wonder what I am doing.  Or maybe it's just me that wonders and everyone else is over it?  But I wonder if they know where I am really headed in life, what my dreams are, actually do I know what my dreams are?  They're big, and they will happen, as they are supposed to happen.  It would be nice if I could achieve some of them in 2010, but I will have to do my part and that will include motivation, inclination, focus and drive, things that many can't muster on New Years Day.  Luckily there are 364 days left to give it another try.  Happy 2010 everyone.  May you be blessed all year long.

More words

I swear sometimes the voices really are talking to me!

Magnificent quotes keep popping up all around me and I can't help but share. This one is from the Real Simple thought of the day email that I receive and again it speaks to me about my year, remembering my dreams, and following my heart. Happy Friday.

“Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.” ―Fred Savage as Kevin Arnold in The Wonder Years

What if words

I like words. I like lyrics and awesome quotes. When I read something that resonates with me I write it down, and as a result of that documentation I have notebooks of lyrics, and writers notebooks filled with quotes.

I like to share these profound writings with people and that is why I have a sidebar section called "What If Words". Sometimes if the words are lyrics to a song then I may link to the video, anything I can do to share why I find it meaningful.

Recently I was perusing a copy of Book Page, a newspaper of book reviews that you can find for free at your local library, or online. The October issue features an interview with Mitch Albom, Detroit sportswriter and author of inspirational novels Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life's Greatest Lesson, The Five People You Meet in Heaven, and his newest release Have a Little Faith: A True Story, about his eight year journey drafting a eulogy for his childhood rabbi.

Have a Little Faith: A True Storywas eight years in the making, but Albom felt the timing for it's message is perfect. Albom said, "When times get tough and money disappears and people get fired and the things you assumed were going to be there forever are not there, you start to drift back to something you once had and you wonder why you let it go in the first place."

Wow. I have spent the last year wondering many things, including why I left writing and journalism all those years ago. How I fell into the rut of paying talent and many years of work that left me drained and uninspired. How it took the biggest leap of faith to drift back to it and expose myself to failure and criticism for my decisions.

"...you start to drift back to something you once had and you wonder why you let it go in the first place..."

Of course this "drifting" can also lead you to places you shouldn't go as well. Maybe that's the beauty of what if words- it's all up to interpretation. Kind of like a daily horoscope. What one may interpret as positive may spell disaster for another.

Anyway, short story long, I liked this quote from Mitch Albom. It "spoke" to me as words so often do, and that is why I write and why I feature other people's writing on my sidebar. Hopefully you can find words that inspire you everywhere you look as well.

Brilliant

I LOVE Post Secret. I have for many years and I still get excited when I realize that new secrets are up and ready for my perusal. Here are a couple of my latest favorites.


This one is so simple and yet it says so much. Three little words that could be good, could be bad, all depending on your frame of mind.


This one I can relate to a little too much. I have a Bachelor's degree in Broadcast & Film with a minor in Advertising and I work part time in a flower shop, which I love, and it makes me above and beyond happy.

Of course I am also using my Associates (and experience) in Journalism which also makes me above and beyond happy when I nail it, but it also makes me hate myself when I fall short.

Look for a re-design of this blog any day now and a really cool giveaway!!!! But you have to comment on the blog post to be eligible. Stay tuned!!!!!

007

Did you say it? I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life. Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then, look around; Drink it in 'cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow.

I stockpile Grey's Anatomy.

When I woke up Tuesday morning I had eight hours of Grey's to watch. I'm done now. The promos that were intermixed with the show were from March. It was hilarious. You may recall I did the same thing back in February with the first part of the season, and the next thing you know I'm behind again, and then I'm thankful because I have something to watch in August.

Saving eight hours worth of TV drama has advantages- something to watch in August- and disadvantages- friends can ruin the ending. Oddly no one told me about George. I read tons about Izzy and her tumor, and I heard that T.R. Knight was not returning, but I had no idea about the road kill of George O'Malley, and it shocked me. Meredith's reaction, or rather Ellen Pompeo's was stunning. Two thumbs up. Even though it's after midnight I had to go back and watch his parts again, now that I know it's him.

Now I'm wondering how exactly they will "write" him off. Will he die? Recover and then go off into the sunset? Who knows. But don't tell me because I probably won't find out until February.

No regrets, no tears, just silent smiles and maybe a what if

One of my favorite quotes that helps me through some hard times is usually attributed to Dr. Seuss.

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”

Sometimes when things come to an end, it can be so easy to cry, hard even, not to. But when I can I try to remember all the good that came from the experience and encourage the sadness to go away. Think of the good, and ignore the bad and ugly. It makes me happy, and that’s not always easy to do. I use this quote to help others, and in the meantime help myself as well. You gotta love the wisdom of Dr. Seuss.

Sharing due to neglect

I am behind. In everything. Today is the seventh day in a row I've worked, and I'm not complaining about that, as I am happy to have work. But everything else is a little neglected including my beloved blog. I hate not writing. It's been brought to my attention how much happiness I get from a blog post, a journal entry, or a writing assignment. So after my seventh day of work I hope to post something really good :)

But for now I want you to watch this from the season (series?) finale of Scrubs which I was finally able to watch last night. I love this song and if the show is over I will miss this show.



The book of love is long and boring
And written very long ago
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
And things we're all too young to know

Still Crazy

I heard this song while I was at work today. I haven't heard it in so long, and I don't think I've ever really listened to the lyrics. Anyway, I love it and I wanted to share.

Conundrum

I'm freelancing as a stringer for my hometown newspaper. I'm also working part time in a greenhouse, something I did all through high school and college. In some ways I have come full circle. I have returned to where I was half my lifetime ago.

I love both jobs. The writing is one step in the path of me following my dreams. The other job is just something I enjoy doing.

But I am baffled by the fact that while I can easily over-analyze my decisions in life and question my self-worth at every turn, I can not give myself credit for any of my achievements. Ever. I do not have the ability to be proud of myself. I can point out every flaw I think I have, but ask me to accept a compliment and I cringe.

How on earth did I become this way?

I'm hoping that will change a little on Friday when my first story is published. I'm going to try to give myself a little pat on the back, no matter how hard it hurts.