My Life of What Ifs

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

I have finally made it

I am officially an adult.  In fact I have never felt more like an adult that I do when I look at this picture.

I've always kind of felt like I was pretending at this adult stuff.  Get married, buy a house, have a kid, accumulate debt, yada, yada, yada.

As my children have grown I've still felt at times like they belong to someone else.  No one in their right mind would allow me to have kids, would they?

What if they did?  What if 10-and-a-half years ago today I gave birth to this bald, cone-headed, eight-pound, five-ounce little being?  And she was deceptively sweet, until the crying began.  Then when it stopped after several weeks we liked her again.

What if she has a heart of gold and eyes of bright blue?  What if she is caring, and silly, and moody too?  What if she has my allergies, bad eyes, and crooked teeth?  What if she has her dad's hands and feet?  What if two weeks ago we put braces on her teeth and the feelings began?  The feelings of- I am an adult and I am responsible for this young person's teeth.  This young person who is four inches shorter than me and wears a size seven shoe?  What if after years of struggling in school she has finally found her groove and gets awesome grades and reads like a crazy girl?  What if today she left for Fifth Grade Camp? Ten-and-a-half years to the day she came into the world, she dropped her gear, said goodbye, and ran off to her friends without looking back.  Four days of no mom, and no dad, except for when we visit of course.  What if she's having the time of her life?  I hope she is.


MOM said...

Stop it! It's too hard to read with tears in my eyes!

Love you,

Pixelcat13 said...

I hope she is too. :) And to think, last time I saw her, maybe the only time, it was when she was that little baby! Crazy how quickly the years go by.