My Life of What Ifs

Monday, March 15, 2010

Music Memory Monday

My music memories, since listed chronologically, are drifting into embarrassing territory.  But they're real, and they're mine, so why wouldn't I share it all here?  Because some of these memories will never make me ask "what if?" I am who I am because of them, and that is just fine with me.


Make me who I'll be someday

"You look good with a tan."

I sat across the table from him and absorbed the compliment to its fullest extent.  He didn't offer them up much.  We were in the cafeteria at the grocery store where we both worked.  He was working the 3 - 11 shift that night and I, of course, had stopped in and agreed to sit with him on his dinner break.  Something I did often, and he never returned the favor.

"So are you going somewhere for spring break?  Is that why you're tanning?"

"Yeah, 3 of my friends and I are driving down to Daytona for the week.  We have reservations at the Thunderbird"

"No shit? Really?"

"Yeah why?"

"'Cause that's where we're going too."

I honestly didn't know that's where he was going for spring break too.  I knew he was the reason my boss wasn't thrilled to let me have the week off.  He had already requested it and it was spring in the garden center.  She needed us high school kids to get things set up full time that week.  Needless to say I was bursting on the inside but trying very hard not to let my excitement shine through.  I had to maintain my cool.

"Cool, maybe we'll run into each other..."

Then he asked me if I liked Van Halen.  I was a fan, but I was about to like them a lot more.

"Yeah, they're alright."

"You should listen to Cabo Wabo off of OU812.  That could be us, only in Daytona of course."

"I'll check it out."

This relationship, if you could even call it that, was so one sided and damaged.  We went to Florida and while there I allowed myself to be used, and it happened a few more times when we got back.  Hell, I even took him to my senior prom.  There's always a little piece of me that thinks he really thought I was a great girl, but his reputation wouldn't allow it to become anything other than what it was.  But he helped me realize what I deserved from a guy and it made me who I am today.  For that I am grateful. He may not even remember who I am, but I think of him and our Cabo Wabo adventure in Daytona from time to time.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Very nice of your boss to give you time to spend with your crush in Florida. Must be the best boss ever! :)